Dear Reader,
Apologies for the lengthy absence, but I was pursuing a quest for behaviours that would help us be human in this age of madness. I discovered one yesterday that we should consider putting at the top of our list. Using humour to defuse madness.
The learning moment took place in the Fortino’s parking lot, Bolton, ON after an early morning shopping this August. As I was about to load groceries into my car, a truck pulled in beside me with a unique loading tray plugged into its hitch. I had been looking for something to help me carry landscaping equipment.
I courteously complimented the driver on this ingenious rig, and he proceeded to share a full explanation of where I could find one at the local Princess Auto or online. He then began to sidetrack into an anti-police rant about being stopped constantly because the loaded tray covered his back licence plate. He said he tried to move his front licence plate to a temporary location on his back hatch, but then got hassled by the police because it’s the law to have a front plate in Ontario, but not Quebec. He was getting worked up. I couldn’t tell if he was angry at the police or Quebec.
Just at that point a driver sped through the parking lot and we joined in expressing common concern for discourteous drivers. He explained that this bad behaviour was caused by people who had no respect for the law, no common sense. I then made a comment that changed the course of our social intercourse. I said, “And that kind of behaviour has been legitimized by the totally disrespectful and discourteous behaviour of supposed leaders in society – like that one south of our border.”
My new acquaintance went cold. “Who do you mean?” he asked, “Not President Trump.” I should have picked up on his defensive tone then, but I was lulled by our trailer hitch moment. “Of course Mr. Trump,” I responded. “He’s a felon, a cheat, and a liar, and has made American Republican leadership the joke of the world.”
My companion’s face flushed vivid red. He shouted at me, “President Trump is the GREATEST President that has ever lived!” He then proceeded to deliver a lecture on the Great Man’s accomplishments, his depth of knowledge on all things – the economy, the military, history, science, and religion. “And I have scientific proof that President Trump is the smartest man in the world!”
I started to smile broadly. “Wow! Well we must be reading different scientific journals,” I chuckled, thinking he was joking. “This is fabulous! You could be doing open mike comedy nights and make a fortune. People need to have a good laugh in these days of MAGA Madness. There’s nothing like good old Canadian satire.” I smiled at him. He did not smile back, holding tight to his comedic serious face.
I thought I was enriching his comedy routine when I added, “Wait, wait. You could really get the audience going if you told them you got all your political views and scientific facts from Rebel News and the Toronto Sun, and Fox & Friends! You’ll have standing room only!”
“This is not funny!” he shouted. “This is serious!” I thought he was still in comedy mode. I looked at him and burst out laughing, “You’re darn right it’s serious! Just imagine what this malignant, moronic narcissist could do if he were really a king.”
My short-lived companion in conversation stopped completely, his face hardening. I suddenly realized he was being serious. I realized my language had both challenged his synaptic connections and alternative truth belief system. I had encountered a true Maple MAGA.
“President Trump is a GREAT, WISE LEADER. Not like those stupid Liberal socialists who have ruined our country!” He continued with a rant worthy of Sean Hannity, condemning the policies of every Liberal leader from Pearson to Carney, closing with a few obscene jabs at people who had gone to university for higher education. He felt that well-educated liberal thinkers all acted “holier than thou” as if they were better than everyone else. Then he closed with a quote from the Bible, as if that would prove the divine omnipotence of his beliefs.
I couldn’t resist. “Wait,” I asked, “is that a quote from the Bible that Trump has never read, you know, the one he wouldn’t place his hand on during his 2025 inauguration? Or is it from the official gold embossed Trump Bible he had printed recently in China?”
“Go fuck yourself!” my trailer man shouted.
I responded politely. “Well, I’d suggest you do the same, but you probably wouldn’t find it very satisfying.” He puzzled over that, as I, still smiling calmly, drove away. I chuckled as I saw him give me the Proctologist’s Salute through my side view mirror. He’d finally got the joke.
The cure for madness is laughter. Maintaining one’s sense of humour and calm in the face of blind faith and fanatical zeal is a wonderful antidote. The way I see it.
…
Skid Crease, Caledon
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